versions of Han Shan

From Robert G. Hendricks, The Poetry of Han-Shan: A Complete, Annotated Translation of Cold Mountain:
Screen Shot 2013-08-25 at 5.08.57 PM
From J. P. Seaton, Cold Mountain Poems: Zen Poems of Han Shan, Shih Te, and Wang Fan-chih:

Screen Shot 2013-08-25 at 5.10.41 PM

And me, using their versions to attempt a third:

Murky places here, dim shapes.
No cause of that motion;
Blurry for no reason.
Whose name do the streams sob?
What agitates the clouds?
Staring until noon,
I realize the day’s dawned.